Back again

Hopefully I will manage to stay here this time. It is rather fascinating how fast time flies. This spring it is six years since I first heard about Paolo Zamboni and CCSVI (chronic cerebro-spinal venous insufficiency). I had really hoped that these years had meant that my veins were now functioning perfectly and that my health was vastly improved. Alas, it is not. I have not given up hope, though. Removing the “dratted tooth” has left me with a small gap in the side of my upper mouth, and while I was a little self conscious about it to begin with, I am not so anymore. I have also discovered I am not the only one. The positive effect of removing it and the bacterias living in it is still with me, as my werewolf tendencies are gone. Full moon no longer has me howling in pain, so that’s all good.

Now, veins. They’re still there, thankfully. So is whatever it is that makes my left jugular vein feel rather stiff and painful several times daily. Is it muscular like quite a few docs say (but they do not explain why), or is it colonies of biofilm-building microbes in my veins that interrupt flow and cause reflux and ruptures? I don’t know, and unfortunately I have not been able to find a medically knowledgeable person with access to the right kind of equipment who also wants to find out. In my quest for CCSVI treatment in Norway, one hospital actually managed to say that they would not accept me as a patient, because they did not know what to do if they got a positive result. I.e, we don’t want to look because we don’t know what to do if we see what these papers suggest we will se. I have come as far as finding that yes, I do have venous reflux and that there are also some things flipping around in the flow. This looks like half a damaged valve, except there are no valves in the upper veins. So what is it? The medical establishment (read: MS neurologists) seem to only care about keeping the status quo, they certainly do not want to get anywhere close to theories that could possibly turn their world upside down. It obviously does not matter that it could improve the life quality of their patients.

This stuff is all rather depressing, and hitting one’s head against the wall is not enjoyable, even if it is just a figure of speech. So I prefer to focus on something else. Oh, and for those who wonder (I am not sure if I have said this elsewhere here): No, I do not believe MS is an autoimmune disease. I think the whole idea of autoimmunity is flawed, it is another example of human hubris. We see something we don’t understand, so it must be autoimmunity because it looks like that. How convenient. This stops the search for what it is that is going on underneath what we see, because it is all about autoimmunity and so we must focus on immunosuppressive drugs. Meh. No thoughts about the absolutely amazing creation our bodies are, and how unlikely it is that they would start attacking themselves. Back to where I wanted to go: focusing elsewhere. More specifically: What can I do? What are my options? One thing I do is something we all do, I dream. But unlike most, and unlike myself half a year ago, I dream with purpose and structure. Which means I am an active dreamer. I have done a 12-week course with Robert Moss on the Shift Network in Active Dreaming, and have now enrolled in a new course. A six month immersion into dreaming called Quantum Dreaming. Also on The Shift Network, with Robert Moss. We start on Thursday, 7th April. I am looking forward to this so, so much. And as I see dreamwork as something we all have the ability to do, I will share my experiences and hopefully inspire a few to join me in exploring dreamspace. It is incredible.

About thenaughtybun

Mother of two, diagnosed with MS in '94, and have been on a mission ever since. Constantly searching for the best health possible, and trying out all kinds of stuff to be able to live a good life, MS or not. My goal is to leave the MS behind, but that has yet to come (haven't given up hope, though!).
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9 Responses to Back again

  1. thebiasedge says:

    Hi. Thanks for visiting and liking my blog. Continue hoping.
    Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5

  2. slfinnell says:

    I hope you’ll share more on your Quantum Dreaming. I am very curious. And I hope it helps you. Sending prayers up.
    Stephanie Finnell
    @randallbychance from
    Katy Trail Creations
    Stephanies Stuff

  3. towera says:

    Hi, thanks again for visiting and commenting on my blog! Your journey with MS certainly sounds difficult and challenging – I wish you all the best. And I hope the Quantum Dreaming helps, you sound excited about it and in my view most things that feed the mind and soul are also good for the body.

  4. MLo says:

    Health issues are hard enough, it’s frustrating when others don’t help as they should! Wishing you strength

  5. plyders says:

    There is fascinating research into the human microbiome. MS is potentially linked. Two of my friends mothers have MS. I do hope science and clinical medicine work quickly to find a solution to your devastating condition.

    • Yes, there is a lot of new knowledge coming forth – though at times I wonder how new it really is. Wasn’t it Galen who said “let thy food be thy medicine and thy medicine be thy food” or something like that? I am a bit disappointed (politely put) that the MS-neuros are so stuck in the autoimmune thought pattern that they’re unable to open up and consider other explanations. We humans are so much more than the mechanistic approach has room for.

  6. Ros says:

    Thank you for your visit and like. I find your blog very interesting and I feel for you. I will be following. x

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