In the first segment of the Quantum Dreaming course with Robert Moss on the Shift Network, he gave us a dream. In it, we would walk along the road of life and then come to a cliff. We’d need to let go of all our baggage, but were allowed to keep one item – a box of some sort. We’d then have to scale this cliff, but would be unable to, until we get a rope or something rope-like from the top and this lifts us up. When we get to the top, we will meet an ally, a helper, and we will open the box and find a beating heart. To help us go on the journey we have a 12-minute segment of drumming.
I had to go through this three times before I came to a conclusion, thankfully this is easy to do as the main journey is always added as a separate file in the replay. First time at the foot of the cliff I was weighed down, I even had a steel chocker with chains holding heavy things. There was an oversized backpack, chain and ball on both feet and multiple bags. How had I managed to walk with all of this? It was a relief to let it all go. My legs ached, but I had a box tucked under my arm and tried to scale the cliff. Useless, so I was relieved when the rope came. It just looked a bit like a snake’s tail, so I was slightly worried. With reason, because when I arrived at the top I found a humongous cobra was waiting for me. Its head was raised, hood expanded, and it was about 2.5-3 meters tall. I was struck dumb. I just gaped and thought “Uh-oh.” Finally I remembered the box and that we were supposed to look into it. Inside was indeed a beating heart, so I just held it open, waiting for Cobra to say something. S/he didn’t say anything, but suddenly attacked and swallowed the whole heart. Ouch. I was shocked and unable to say a thing, and the rest of the drumming I was standing there silently crying. Something that continued the rest of the day, I was feeling rather unhinged.
The next day I did the journey again, this time I had a closer look at all the baggage, realising hardly anything was mine. Only 5% was my stuff, the rest was crap from my family and ancestors. The box I brought this time was a beautiful small chest looking like a mix of two jewellery boxes I have. This time when I reached the top, by way of the snake-tail-lift, I looked at Cobra, put the chest down, opened it and lifted the heart out. I held it close, whispering that I’d do my best to protect it – and then it slipped out of my hands. It went in through my chest, through clothing and all and I was dumbfounded. That was not what was supposed to happen – I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t eaten again. I looked at Cobra, who gently said, “We need that heart.” So I replied “It’s gone. I didn’t mean for this to happen, but it’s gone. I guess you’ll just have to take me instead,” and I stepped close. I sensed that Cobra was happy with me – and then my son arrived home from school, shouting “Mamma! I’m hooome!” I didn’t need to be drummed out of the trance then.
The third time I had a lot less baggage when I arrived at the cliff, for instance the choker was gone. I arrived at the top with the same little chest as yesterday, but when I arrived Cobra was shape shifting. Giant Cobra became a beautiful, strong, tall woman, who became Cobra who became the woman again, and she was moving in sync with the drumming. It was mesmerising. She told me to open the box, and lift out the heart, and to open up for Love. Feel the love. I looked at her, and said, “I don’t know how I can bear feeling more love. It’s overwhelming as it is!” To which she answered, “Not loving the world, Dearest. Loving yourself.” Oh. Talk about feeling humbled!
Long story short: Love yourself. At least as much you love your fellow beings. This has nothing to do with ego, it is pure love and appreciation. Should be simple enough, but sometimes you need to be scared witless by an overgrown cobra to hear the message.
I feel like finishing with quoting Marianne Williamson, from her book Return To Love (which I admit I have never read, but I love this quote):
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.